LONELY

Away from life is all I’ve been
Cause I fail to live again
Away from days I long to see
In my isolated nights
 
I feast, I drink, sing lullabies
And I smile to the world
But something I can never hide
It hurts me when I say
 

I’m lonely, I am lonely
I’m jaded, tired and furious
Erase my sadness, oh happiness
I’m lonely, I’m so lonely
Please break me and rebuild me
Cause no more I wanna be lonely

With time I bury my bitterness

And I walk this road with pride

With tears I filled my emptiness

In this devastated life

The kisses, lusts and promises

Oh they flew me to the sky

But when I see the lies they hide

It hurts me when I say

I’m lonely, I am lonely
I’m jaded, tired and furious
Erase my sadness, oh happiness
I’m lonely, I’m so lonely
Please break me and rebuild me
Cause no more I wanna be lonely

Stay

Hold me now, cause I froze again
On my own again
In this space where I fail

Reach me now, cause I fall again
Down to loneliness
Of my own self despair

Would you come and save me now
Away from now
To fairy land where time does stop
And spread your love into my heart
And let me be a part of you

I will never find my way
Without the light you're shining through
This blackness of the road of mine
I will never find my way
Without the hand I'm holding on
So come into my soul and stay

Hold me now
Don't you leave me now
Though I'll never last
Treasure me, dream with me

FEEL MY LYRICS

If I have to crawl this life
I will crawl with pride of mine

And I will tell the world

About the story of my life

And I wanna make you feel me

With the songs that I have shout

And I wanna see you cry

When I scream my lyrics out

I have lived my glory days

In a mansion home

I felt real hunger

In a broken home

A bleeding soul

From a cheated heart

Tears for love

That I could not have

I felt happiness

Of a sweet white lies

Emptiness of my loneliness

They broke my dream

But I’ll be on my feet again

I’ll live again

Even if I’m pushed aside

With a shotgun on my head

It aint gonna make me die

There’s no bullet that I fear

I will let the world to know

With my blood I’ll write to Thou

So listen to song I shout

Now I scream my lyrics out

I’M SICK OF YOU (lyric)

The night is young but

I don’t feel like getting wasted

In my gangsta car, I

Ride the road and

I try to contemplate

My so called friends are

Pouring lies before my eyes and

All those hypocrites use

Intoxication

To disguise who they really are

I stood there for you

I’ve tried to warn you

I‘ve given all I got for you

But you just can’t see it

You just don’t get it

You’ve thrown away your dignity

Well I have some news for you

I’m sick of you

I’m sick of you

You’re walking sideways

Insulting me for being in your way

While I watch a predator

Hunting drunken girl

And he’s aiming one

That’s you

Your so called friends are

Luring you with ecstasy and

I have to watch you fall

To drag you out from

Regrets you’ll never see

***

You’re on your own from now honey

No more I wanna be your play

No more I wanna be insulted

No more! Cause I’m fkin sick of you

Irreplaceable

Every life I see

Despair is what I feel

Every love I see

A bleeding heart shall be

Tears of sanity

Enchanted agony

Take my heart from me

And the pain that I don’t need

I’m irreplaceable you said

Is this a game you made me play?

It drains my strength out day by day

Just to believe in you

Every night you make me crawl

For the miracle you vow

My faith has gone, I ain’t standing tall

Should I believe in you?

I don’t wanna be alone

You broke through me and left me Alone

And why did you replace me?

Still I’m in this place

Where sorrow all I feel

Shadow of my face

It shows how I was killed

I fear reality

Deception’s where I live

So take my heart from me

It’s now something I don’t need

Lyric : F@#K OFF

Unwrap the plastic of my life

Without you – my life seems alright

Cosmetic frantic in your eyes

Without you – everything’s alright

Take your filthy body off my sight

I don’t need your nauseating sex tonight

Wipe your smile off

Walk away

Take your slutty face off me tonight

All the hate infection that I have

Without you – my life seems alright

And the anger planted in my head

Without you – everything’s alright

I got a bullet with your name on it

You better run fast far away from me

Cos next I see you

You’ll see

Blood spilling all over your head

SCREAM

When I’m around you

I wanna lean myself beside you

Can’t you feel me sugar?

Can’t you listen to my cry?

My broken heart’s been longing for you

My body wants your touch

Come poison me with you

Imagination

Hesitation

My hurting passion

They fantasize

The beauty of your love

How can I show to you

For it’s you who make me strong

But it’s me who make this wrong

Reflection of your deep blue eyes

I’m hiding – The loneliness I feel inside

I’m waiting - To let you fill my emptiness

I’m cryin,

I’m cryin for you (tonight)

I know I’m trying

To shut the door to my heart

But my soul is screaming

It’s screaming

For you

Save Me

All the things I’ve lost

Are all the things they’ve given me

And they took them all away

I’m living in my past

But memories are killing me

I want to make them go away

Come save me from my world

I do not have control

Of my desire to entertain the evil in my soul

My anger come alive

Its kingdom’s in my mind

Come save me from my devastation, ignorance of love

Will you be there when my heart’s crying?

Will you be there when my heart falls apart?

I want to kill my life away

I’m done with all this imitated smile

I want to kill my life away

I’m done with all this counterfeit and lies

I’m trapped in my own mind

And I cant get myself away

And I’m running out of time

I want to see me smile

I want to fall in love again

But my rage is still inside

HEADSTONE

Would you come and clean my bleeding face

Would you come and heal me

Come and keep me safe

Would close my eyes and sing me grace

Tell me tales of fairies

Those that keep me safe

I’ve been through this life of tears

A never ending fear - And I just can’t see clear

What the world has given me - when love’s so unreal

But hate is so real

We hide what’s inside – tell not what we feel

This path you made me be

Well I don’t wanna be here

This can’t be me

Cos I don’t wanna be him

Take me away from my own mind astray

I can see my life unchanged

No matter what I say – cos I just wont be saved

Can you see now where I’ll be – I’ll be on my own

In earth I’ll be thrown

My name be unknown – a myth of untold

This coffin where I’m in

Well I don’t wanna be here

Headstone on me

Well I don’t wanna be him

Take me away from my own mind astray

God, I’m coming home…..

Lyric : Symphony of Victory

Come
Enter your life
Exit your lies
Abandon every love that's been hurting inside

Live like today
Is your last day
And turn your sorrow into ecstasy of mind

Come dance with me baby


Blame
No one but them
Anger refrains
the lyrics of the pain you've been singing inside

No more you hide
Regain your pride
And let go all the fear you've been keeping inside

Come fight with me baby

So battle all the dictates they preach on you

Defend the only dignity left in you

This symphony of victory’s made for you

So never surrender

Betrayal in our life let them all be gone

The time has come to write legend of our own

No retreat to the place where we died before

Embrace all your anger

Come Feel what I see

See what I feel

Remember all the scars you have left behind?

Taste what you’d feast

Holy and peace

When freedom that you needed comes down on you

Come dance with me baby

Life is so much like a solid block with gaps on it

The gaps , uneven surfaces, holes, whatever you want to call it

They are needs. Needs in life. Satisfaction, ego, wealth, .. love.

What the block is made of describes one's character

Metal block,... very non-compromising person. This person wants everything perfectly fit

Wooden block.... solid, but willing to compromise. It's shape-able

Rubber block... flexible. Give it a little push, anything will fit.

We mostly fill the easiest gaps of our block first in life.

Education, wealth, hobby, security.

All of these gaps can are easy to fill because we can find the missing bits ourselves

and fit the gaps.

When we realized that every other gaps in our block have been fulfilled

We will ended knowing that there is still one more gap to fill

This gap is love. The worst part about this gap is, we cant fill it ourself.

We need another block, with it's unique shape, that match our last gap.

When the shape is not a match, it may still cover the remaining gap.

But it will not be perfect, it will not fit each other, it will not last long.

When someone ignore this gap, another's gap unfulfilled.

I'm hurting.....

Lyric : A Murderer's Love Story

Download MP3

I miss the way she leans on to me when I touch her hair

I miss her smile in the morning

I miss the way she looks right through me when she stare my face

And my tears pour like raining

**

I put my hands together

Lord please let us be together

Cause now

We've become stranger

I'll put my gun aside

I'll put my greed aside

For her

But you will need to know this

**

Reff :

I've done my sins

With no regret

I shot that man

But he ain't dead

He killed my dream

Erased my face

And i now walking down in shame

I've done my sins

I want him dead

I will not stop until his head

Is in my hand

I'm a murderer in love

I'm an outlaw, I'm a dreamer

Yes I am a believer

I'm not a failure, I'm a winner

Lord I wanna kiss her

She's a Liar

Heart Breaker

Two faced sinner

But I...

**

Lyric : Victim of Prejudice

Download Mp3

Drain your blood for me

Dry your soul for me

On your knees honey

Throw your self to me

Give your love to me

Have no fear for me

I'm your sweet misery

Throw your self to me

Reff :

All the things I've done for you

You took them all for granted

All the lies you fed to me

I become more you

Now you fall in agony

You beg me to save you

No more you will scatter me

Throw your self to me

Throw your pride away

No more you can say

Be my bride honey

Throw your self to me

In my eyes you'll see

All the grief you gave

But I forgive your sins

Throw your self to me

I'm a victim of your prejudice

I'm a victim of you!

Lyric : Am I Still Alive?

Download MP3

I feel like cryin

I let my whisky burn my liver

It’s drown in me

My heart still trying

To find the thing that has been taken

away from me

Was it friend?

Was it love?

Was it family or trust?

Was it you?

Was it me?

Who’s been tearing us …… apart

Reff :

I’m fading

Unseen

Unwanted

I know my sadness

Has turned me speechless and unspoken.

Undignified.

And all my memories

Return so cruel they try to kill me

I’m crucified.

I feel numb

I feel weak

I’m untouched but not my will

I’ve got questions

Don’t want answers

In no shadow I …. believe

Reff:

I’m fading

Unseen

Unwanted

Am I still alive?

I thought my fight has ended.. , I was wrong

Years ago, I had my life drown in my own tears
They told me to let go of my dream back then,
So I did

Not so long ago I thought I have done my time
I was no longer in disappointment
They told me to let go of my dream to avoid tears
So I did

Today, I have no dream
I have no past and I see no future
The present is not what I want
They told me to let it be

This time, I want to say "No!"
I've been hurting for too long
I want to be happy
Is that too much to ask?

huaaaaa

gonjaz?
where are you?
kuangen booo

hehehehe :)

More into music

I'm Back!!!

This time it will be more into music rather than poems. taking it into a universal language. Bored with words I guess.

Check out the link at the right side. Yeap.. I will start to release music one by one ... for free .. unfortunately.

Anyway.. I'm Back!

where are you gonjazz!!!

Novena grants my wishes

As I have promised to announce her kindness and blessing when the time my prayers comes true.. so here I am..

Saint Maria, Holy Mother of Jesus....

Thank you for your blessing and grants of my prayers.. thank you for asking your Son to grant my wishes... I let myself in your Son's hands... and I shall speak as loud as I could ... to let others know..

Novena prayers has granted my wishes. A miracle has happened on my request. For those who doesnt believe.. so be it. For those who does... dont lose your hope as I have been praying for months until He decides when to make it happens. My wishes have come true. His miracle is there and Saint Maria listens.

This is the prayers for her in my own words..

Saint Maria with all your blessing
As He is with you
Be praised among the women
And let your Son be praised as well
Saint Maria Mother of Jesus
Please pray for us who are sinners
Now and till the day we die

Once again... a miracle has happened on my request.. Novena is real.

------------
Note :
I know Im not supposed to post anything about religion, but this is something I have promised to do. Please let this post stays for sometime before it is decided to be deleted. May peace be with all of you. Thank you

Missed the way she leans on to me when I touch her hair.
Missed the way she smile when she wakes up in the morning
Missed the way she kisses me with her eyes close
Missed her tears on my cheek when she misses me
Missed the way she talks in such soft spoken voice
Missed the way she hugs me with a feeling full of trust and worries

I don’t mind walk across time just get a kiss from her
I don’t mind fly all the way just get a hug from her
I don’t mind being a total stranger in a place I have never been just to see her smile
I don’t mind waiting forever just to see her again for a few hours
I don’t mind losing everything I have just to know that she loves me

Cant imagine what it will be like if she stops smiling at me
Cant imagine what it will be like not knowing where she is
Cant imagine what it will be like when she decided to go
Cant imagine what it will be like if she thinks that this feeling is wrong
Cant imagine what it will be like if she said goodbye

Wondering if the same feeling is in her when I am not there beside her
Wondering if she thinks of me before she go to sleep
Wondering if she wants me to stay or wants me to leave
Wondering how long it will last inside her

As she has becomes my purpose of life
Something to wait for
Something to believe in
Something that will make me strong even though it tears me out

God, let me die in her arm
Hell will gives me no fear
Cause nothing is more painful than not being beside her

Lyric : Fading Faith

this time i know i will fail
cause im down in this place again
maybe its time to get awake
cause this dream that i have start to fade

seems like there's nothing left to say
cause it seems like its all just a play
keep losing everything today
will it make a different if its yesterday?

ooh, there's someone out there
who needs a friend to cry
ooh, there's someone out there
who realy needs to die

cause his losing his faith
that;s been keepin him alive but
its starting to fade
and he's left in pain

cause we're all in this game
that we can never win and now
he's losing his faith
he needs to die

Aku tertatih
terhempas
terlempar dalam sebotol kecil berisi kenangan
yang akan kuletakkan di pemberhentian pertamaku.
Merci.



Senen,29 des 03

Dikepalaku ada hujan
tiktiktiktiktiktiktiktiktiktiktiktik
terus deras lalu merintik
dan merintik lalu deras
seperti mendendangkan simfoni kenangan
kenangan indah
kenangan sedih
seperti hujan kerinduan
atau hujan airmata

Dikepalaku ada hujan
tiktiktitiktiktiktiktiktiktiktiktik
Hujan Cinta!



Balkoni,26 des 03

Christmas Wish to Santa Claus


This Christmas, I was
Unable to differ between happiness and sadness
Unable to see what’s waiting ahead
Unable to shout out what’s been waiting to explode inside

Imagination has became reality
Fantasy has came true
Doubts has been swept away

Reality smells like apple
Reality feels so comfy and warm
Reality kisses with love

Waiting for reunion of lost souls
No matter where and how
Months or years from now
Forever if I should wait

Dear Santa, this will be my Christmas wish
And it will remain the same every year from now on
Please don’t let IT fade

Merry Christmas for all loners
Shed your tears of sorrow
For there’s always someone for you
Look harder to find them
They might be somewhere you can’t even imagine

Keep them forever once you find them
As I have found mine, and forever I shall not let go

Why is each step I made is another step further from where it supposed to go?
Why each day becomes heavier than the day before?
Why cant we avoid mistakes that we have already taken before?
why is life is just a circle with no point to go?

And why do we always fall into someplace, something, somewhere, where we dont want to be?
Crawl back to reach the surface to fall into the same thing, over and over again.

What is it that blinded us? How should we see?

Why is everything that we wanted to do is always too late?

Is it true, to live is to die?

Sounds of Tring

Hot and steamy
Fruit and vegetable

Hammering of keys
Until fingers gone weak

Hiding a tought
Seek its message

A silent silly laugh
Titter, chuckle, giddle

Never never land
Time does stop

By : Femme26

Smiley face hides the tears inside
Laughter hides the cries
Fear of losing contaminates

Will a single hug compensate?
Will a long deep kiss heals such worries?
Will making love satisfies the needs?

When eventualy you are left alone....
Will the hug, deep kiss and making love makes you stronger...
or will it makes the pain inside you wider?

Again, it comes to me
Penetrate barriers built ages ago
It ruins ‘em all
It’s happening again

Again, committed the same mistake
Broken promises, premonition takes over
Repetition of failure will occur
Cause now, it’s happening again

Same wound is back opened
Re-heal the old pain
Victim of prejudice
Another years of misery to overcome

Forgive me Agony for leaving u behind
Will u be my friend…. Again?

Sri Lanka, 31st July 2003

we were young

For we were once.. young and bold
We set our dreams high upon the sky
We climbed the highest hill and feared not of fallin' apart
We saw troubles as challenging games
We laughed over the future, for we believed it was a glitter stairs to heaven..

For we were once.. small and innocent
We shared secrets under the starry night sky
We played in the rain, took pictures
We vowed to be there at times one of us was shattered..
We trusted each other, and forever we would not be parted

Now we are tall, old and well-dressed
We have lives, organizer, and what we named as partner
We say hello in a flat tone and make excuses for being too busy to meet
I am then left lonely at night,
With no more arms to hold me tight

And no matter how much I miss those old fashioned tartan shirts
Those naive smiles when we held each other hands on the picture
That rock and roll that sounds suddenly like a new song to me..
I know we are never the same ones as we used to be, ever..

It was just then the good old time..
When the trees were still tall
When "I love you" was still a a sacred and magic word
When we were once.... young and dared to dream

kenapa sih kita mau dibodohin sama mesin.
huehuehueheu

hadir om harry..... emiko di negara samurai

tears gone by...
but life goes on,right?
;)

saya hadiirrrrrrrrrrr pak!

Think!
Of all the things that you said to me
Every word u said was like a prophecy
As u break through the lock to my soul
And burn me down with your flame
burn me right through my soul

Blame!
Fingers are pointing to the unseen
Sorrow directs our mind to agony
Was it your fault or was it mine?
Or was it just punishment of life?

All the things that you have been showing me
Inside my mind it's so unreal
You took me high but then you go away
All of this pain you make me feel

How are you?

Sometimes, we just want the best for some one else.
How we force our beliefs and will to make others a better person
How we judge them before our eyes with options created by our selves.

Sometimes, what we thought is the best, can become the worst.
What we feel inside, is not what others feel
What we know is right, is another’s mistake

Because we forgot....

We forgot to ask them,.... what they really want.

Do not judge others before you can judge your self.

Sri Lanka, 31st March 2003

With all of my my energy I have left that night,
I tried to held all of my anger, my worry
With all of the love I have,
I tried to convince myself to be patient, be gentle
With all of my dignity in me,
I tried not to show emotion, humiliation

But try to do all that when......

When "Fear of Losing" contaminates in your mind
When "Feeling of Failure" intimidates in your heart
When satan whisper "You lost the game" by your ears
When jealousy built a kingdom in you, and you are the slave

Now...
Will you wish to keep standing in the same place you are?
Will you wish to keep staring the smile of victory against you?

I've been awaken from this dream
My eyes are still closed and so is my heart
But now I see the sun

Now I know,
I am just afraid of losing you before I even have you....

*you know who you are*

Why should there be anger to those we love?
Why should there be denyal of truth?
Why should there be rejection of rights?
Why does ego always takes control of war which directing to the victory of regrets?

When ears are deaf and eyes are blinded
We need clean hearts to listen
And open mind to see

May peace be with us

Wonderland II

Now your feeling's lost in my wonderland
So let this fairy tale begin
You have wings on your back and you're free to dance
But dont even know, you're starting to bleed

Now in the garden of lies you fall in love
To a shadow of un-exist
How it poisoning your mind with misery
Giving taste you can't resist

*
Keep your eyes close
Dont wanna wake you from this dream
Please keep your heart close
Cause when i;m in, i'll make you scream!

Now that loneliness has taken over your mind
How you struggle to survive
But your feeling's still lost in my wonderland
Come! See it crawling back to life

You;re gonna open your eyes for the very first time
With a broken heart you gained
So wash the blood on your hand, no you can;t turn back time
and forever you'll live in pain

Sri Lanka, 6th November 2002

Stop advising coz they'll say you're a dictator
Stop being friendly coz they'll say you're annoying
Stop caring coz they dont give a damn
Stop trusting coz they dont trust you
or better yet.....
Stop being human because they'll say you're an enemy

I feel like cryin. even let johny walker goes through my mouth directly from the bottle into my liver.
I feel sad. I feel weak. I feel alone.
Trying to find what exactly taken away frm me.
Was it friends. Was it love, family, or was it trust?
realizing how loneliness can turns you into another person
How sadness can turns you speechless. Unspoken.
How weakness intimidates.
And how memories can be so cruel on you.
I feel numb. Untouchable not by my own will.
Head full of questions and heart afraid to find the answers
My life becomes unreal. Shadow becomes my believes.
I'm fading.
Unsenn.
Unwanted
Am I still alive?

Sri Lanka, 21st September 2002

Setiap orang hidup mempunyai arti kehidupan sendiri
Orang Korea dan Jepang berprinsip mereka hidup untuk bekerja
Membangun bangsa mereka semaksimal mungkin
Sebagian berprinsip sebaliknya. Bekerja untuk hidup.
Ada yang berkata, hidup adalah untuk memuja dan memuliakan Tuhan
Ada juga yang bilang, hidup adalah bersenang-senang.
Malah ada yang berkata, hidup adalah untuk cinta.
Mereka tidak dapat hidup tanpa adanya cinta.
Walaupun dia sendiri tidak tau apa artinya cinta
Tidak satupun yang bisa ku mengerti dari semua itu
Untukku, hidupku sepenuhnya adalah untuk kebahagiaan mereka
Kebahagiaan merekalah kebahagiaanku.
Hidupku milik mereka. Bukan milikku
Dan pada saat mereka tidak lagi menginginkanku dalam hidup mereka
Hidupku kemudian ..... mati.

Here i am, living in a life without a life
Making friends in un-reality, coz no one I can trust in reality, coz I dont belong
They say, dont hope too much in un-reality. but again.. what is real and what is not?
When u feel hurt inside you, is it not real?
And what is life without hope?
You just can't understand. Infact, you will never be able to understand,
Unless u;ve been there. before that, u'll just laugh and telling everybody how stupid and fool i have been.

here i am, living in a life with nobody around
the only friend i have is just my work. who stays with me from 8am to 9 pm
and if i;m lucky.. it stays with me until 2am in the field where I have to go for overtime
the only friend that can make me forget about time that just never end.
the best friend i can ever find... here.., i wish i can have more friend like that

One day I notice a conversation, a very short one..
He said "Do you miss me?"
She just smiled and then leave with a note saying
"When u start to dream, and turns out the dreams is not real, u'll hurt your self"
Can you imagine if Graham Bell didnt dream to make a conversation from distance?
This page u are now reading will not exist.
Can you imagine if they dont dream to fly? dream to have the brightness in the night?
Dream to go to the moon?

They asked me to leave my hopes, my un-reality friends, my dreams...
I have no life. I;m dead already.

Coz here I am, living in a life without a life

Lyric : In Your Heart

Download Mp3

I know it’s time, it’s time to get away
Make it over all the way
Stop the dream I have repay
And forever live in pain

I wonder where it goes, after sometime I let go
All the hopes I couldn’t told
Ain’t no silent turn to gold

You cut deep to my skin, even wound my heart but still
I see the beauty of the scar
Like a painting of the sky when the sun began to shine

I know your hurting me, is that the way you’re loving me?
Is that the way that I must feel?
I keep on asking

But I, I know now what you feel
I know that it’s not real
All this time, it’s just a scheme, just a fantasy

And I, I wish that I was wrong
I wish that you were here
Holding me when I’m in need
In your heart where I should be

I know you’re gone, you tried to get away
And I alone who have to pay
All the things you left behind
There’s no exit I can find

I start to heal the pain, and forever it remains
And I start to miss the pain
And I miss you

Sri Lanka, 21 July 2002

Apa sebenarnya yang aku rasakan? Aku kangen dia…..
Tapi aku telah bertemu dia, kenapa masih kangen? Mungkin, aku takut kehilangan dia..
Apakah dia milikku? Bukan! Dia bukan milikku….
Lalu, bagaimana aku bisa kehilangan sesuatu … yang tidak pernah aku miliki?? ……..

Sri Lanka 7th June 2002

Knowing the truth is always better than drawning in lies created by your self or someone else
But sometime, truth hurts so bad even makes you unable to accept reality
Makes you deny what you've been hearing, reading or even feeling.
If what you feel is not real, than what is reality?

If there shall be no answer of one question...let it unaswered.
Let it unrevealed and forever become a mistery of life...
instead of directing others to eternal agony.

Sri Lanka, 23rd June 2002

Lyric : Without You

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Why does it hurt so bad
everytime you say "dont look back"
Inside my mind i'm feeling the end is sad

Why can't you stop pretend
Coz it's not you who's on this stand
Silent you give
Confuses to understand

No I can't live without you
Illusion intimidates you
No I can't live without you
They broke the beauty of you

Waiting for all this time
I deny all emotion lies
Search for a piece of puzzle taken from me

Promise that has been broken
Contamination of hates awaken
Brain wash upon revolving the seeds of darkness

Sri Lanka 10th June 2002

i got this addiction sickness
addiction to something that is not allowed
they keep telling to stop the addiction, but i wont
because it feels so good when i have it,
but hurts like hell when i cant get it.
but it's ok. i'm ready too all this pain.
i know i'm sick, I know what I had is prohibited.
but no matter what, i just dont wanna let it go!
i can let it go.. but i wont!
i dont wanna cure my addiction... on her.

*for her.. who doesn't belong to me...*

Saat ini semua begitu indah
Dimana kau selalu berkata "Ya...aku ada disini."
Dan aku balas berkata "Terima kasih...."
Hari berikutnya kau juga masih berkata "Ya....aku akan tetap disini"
Dan sekali lagi aku berkata "Terima kasih...."
Tapi, suatu saat akan ada perpisahan...kau tak akan disini lagi.
Karena tempat kau memang bukan disini,... dan aku akan sendiri.....
Tapi aku akan tetap berkata "Terima kasih!"
Terima kasih telah membiarkan aku menjadi bagian kecil dalam hidupmu

Untuk kalian semua..... terima kasih.

a friend once got into my room and notice 2 different photos
and he asked "why is this one's facing your bed and another facing the other side?"
and simply i answered "ah.. just not enough room....."
and then again he asked "not enough room on your table... or in your heart?"

Have you ever notice a dancing pen?
How it starts to dance from one point to another
Creating lines that tells stories, songs or even..reveals the unspoken
But somehow.. a question starts to rings in our head...
Is that the dance that we wanted to see?
Is that the line that we wanted to shows?
Is that the story of what our hearts trying to say?
Or is that a scheme to manipulate others mind?
The dance of lies beneath truth

they say life is a test
we are suppose to meet problems and settle them, each one of 'em
every time we pass one, there's another harder one waiting for us
the more we got, the stronger we will be
but they forgot something..........
how about the pain?
what about the wound they made in our hearts for each cry we had?
is this what's it's all about?
a test until we start screaming the words "NO MORE"?
and when the time comes, is that the time to end life?
the main question will be.... how strong should we be?

Sri Lanka - 7th May 2002 / (HVC)

as if you got wings... but dont know how to fly
as if you got tears... but dont know how to cry
cos now you got unspoken words.. and you dont know how to reveal

Sri Lanka, 30th April 2002

Without Wings
by Vero

Kita tidak memiliki sayap malaikat...
Kita hanya manusia biasa...
Mungkin, kita bisa menolong orang lain...
Mungkin juga, kita bisa membahagiakan orang lain...
Itulah tugas kita...
Yang bersedia mengulurkan tangannya...
Dan bersedia menjadi...Malaikat Tanpa Sayap...


We ain’t angels
Just human
We act like an angel,
But forever without wings

Give hands and joys for other…. Just like an angel
Because… that’s what it’s all about
And forever we shall be….
Angels without Wings

By Vero

Lelaki tua itu tersenyum ke arahku
Wajahnya penuh kerut
Dengan rambut yang mulai memutih
Geraknya kian lamban
Menandakan...
Betapa lelah hari2nya
Hanya satu yang tak berubah...
Dekapannya...masih sehangat yang dulu...
"Ayah...Aku sayang padamu..."

THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH
by HVC

where is the best place on earth?
is it a fancy palace with everything you need?
is it a place that looks exactly the same as a paradise city?

for me... if there's a place filled with people who really wanted you to be there
just because of who you are..., not what you are...
then that is my best place on earth
and that place could be somebody else's heart,
instead of three dimensional definition of the word "place"

i hope i have that place..... somewhere....

Lewat kata
By Veronica_tsui

Jelang malam temaram..
Semakin larut semakin terhanyut..
Berbagi gelak tawa
Berbagi canda..
Walau hanya lewat kata..

Terima kasih untuk malam ini..
Kantuk menerpa namun terlewati..
Tidak terasa untuk memaksakan diri..
Karena yang ada hanyalah tawa..
Walau hanya lewat kata..

Kurasa, sudah cukup untuk malam ini..
Walau hanya lewat kata...

Imagine It - By HVC

i'm trapped in the darkness where there's no one around
neither my soul, or even drops of my tears
i tried to look up, there's only black sky above
i started to pray,.. but then i started to scream.

imagine anger,
imagine fear.......

can you imagine where there's no one there around you
when you need some one to hold you or just sharing your fear
can you imagine when there's a black hole inside you
how loneliness just get through and only sorrow you feel

imagine your fear...

Created by Vero
(you'll never know what a freind can do for you)

Ahhh...
Mengapa di malam yang semakin larut...
Kegilaan ini tak jua surut...
Membawa hati ini semakin terhanyut...
Membuat nadi berdenyut-denyut...

Terima kasih kawan...
Kau buat aku tertawa kembali...
Tiada hal yang paling bahagia...
....selain menikmati hari ini...

Esok...biarlah perlahan menjelang...
Mengikuti sang waktu...
Toh pagi tak pernah ingkar janji...
Untuk menyambut sang mentari...

"Friends are...puzzle pieces.
If one goes away, that special pieces can never be replaced..
And..the puzzle will never be whole again.
HOPE YOU ARE A PIECE I CAN KEEP FOREVER..
Take care..."

A Poetry from Ran

Aku tertawa lagi...inikah rasanya menjadi gila?
aku kemudian diam. Inikah rasanya kesepian?
aku kemudian tenggelam. Inikah rasanya sesak?
aku kemudian terjatuh. Inikah rasanya sakit?
Kemudian air mataku satu persatu bergulir, lalu
menghilang ditiup angin.
Apakah aku akan bahagia, apakah semestinya aku
gembira?
Semua penuh dengan kata tanya.
Lalu siapa yang bisa menjawabnya?
Kutanya hatiku, dia hanya diam terpaku.
Kutanya jiwaku, dia mati membisu.
Kutanya nuraniku, dia dingin membeku.
Kutanya akalku, dia bimbang menerawang.
Kutanya kenanganku,...dia tidak menjawab.
Dia hanya menangis tersedu sambil berkata, "Maafkan
aku atas sepenggal kenangan indah yang menyakitkan
hatimu..."


Ran - 23 maret 2002

KEMBALI- by HVC (1996)

tiada ku sangka
t'lah sekian lama kita bersama
menjalain rasa suka dan cinta
tanpa ada curiga

sekuntum bunga
begitu putih
seputih cinta kita
tak'kan ku lupa
janji kita, untuk s'lalu akan bersama

ku kan kembali
untuk mu oh kasih
ku kan kembali
untuk bersamamu

jangan pernah kau tinggalkan
semua ini
jangan pernah kau berhenti
menginginkan diriku
kar'na ku akan kembali untukmu

jalani kasih
dengan suci hati
kar'na kau tak sendiri

ku kan bernyanyi
untukmu kasih
jangan kau bersedih

waktu t'lah datang
menguji kita
akankah kita bertahan?
menempuh semua kesendirian
menggapai cinta yang nyata

Lyric by HVC
ALONE - 1998

sit alone here on my bed
wondering why i feel so sad
feel secured but yet I'm scared
tell me ... that you realy care

should i cry for what I am
am I the one that should be blamed
all my loves have flown away
burned away by mighty flame

when I feel unhappy, everybody's happy
when I feel so lonely, you dont even care
when I look into my shadow,
there's nothing but a sinner
but if I'm really just a burden ....
blow this light of mine

Lyric by HVC
created sometime around 1996

you and me,
we have something in common.
things that we've been dreaming of,
to be inlove with one another.

holding hands, and watch the sky by the ocean,
say no words and let our eyes,
tell the truth of how we feel.

see the thought that this could be the last time.
but, should we feel this way from the very first time?

*reff : i dont wanna say good bye to you.
even if you realy asked me to.
deep inside you know it can't be true.
i know you love me,
cos every nite girl i;ve been dreaming of you.

is this mistake or could this be the right thing?
must we be together once,
and leave this all behind us?

But if these all were meant to be,
why can;t we be together?

*2nd bridge : i cherish all the times we had together, and i dont wanna let them go.

let see the result of this.....