With all of my my energy I have left that night,
I tried to held all of my anger, my worry
With all of the love I have,
I tried to convince myself to be patient, be gentle
With all of my dignity in me,
I tried not to show emotion, humiliation

But try to do all that when......

When "Fear of Losing" contaminates in your mind
When "Feeling of Failure" intimidates in your heart
When satan whisper "You lost the game" by your ears
When jealousy built a kingdom in you, and you are the slave

Now...
Will you wish to keep standing in the same place you are?
Will you wish to keep staring the smile of victory against you?

I've been awaken from this dream
My eyes are still closed and so is my heart
But now I see the sun

Now I know,
I am just afraid of losing you before I even have you....

*you know who you are*

Why should there be anger to those we love?
Why should there be denyal of truth?
Why should there be rejection of rights?
Why does ego always takes control of war which directing to the victory of regrets?

When ears are deaf and eyes are blinded
We need clean hearts to listen
And open mind to see

May peace be with us

Wonderland II

Now your feeling's lost in my wonderland
So let this fairy tale begin
You have wings on your back and you're free to dance
But dont even know, you're starting to bleed

Now in the garden of lies you fall in love
To a shadow of un-exist
How it poisoning your mind with misery
Giving taste you can't resist

*
Keep your eyes close
Dont wanna wake you from this dream
Please keep your heart close
Cause when i;m in, i'll make you scream!

Now that loneliness has taken over your mind
How you struggle to survive
But your feeling's still lost in my wonderland
Come! See it crawling back to life

You;re gonna open your eyes for the very first time
With a broken heart you gained
So wash the blood on your hand, no you can;t turn back time
and forever you'll live in pain

Sri Lanka, 6th November 2002

Stop advising coz they'll say you're a dictator
Stop being friendly coz they'll say you're annoying
Stop caring coz they dont give a damn
Stop trusting coz they dont trust you
or better yet.....
Stop being human because they'll say you're an enemy

I feel like cryin. even let johny walker goes through my mouth directly from the bottle into my liver.
I feel sad. I feel weak. I feel alone.
Trying to find what exactly taken away frm me.
Was it friends. Was it love, family, or was it trust?
realizing how loneliness can turns you into another person
How sadness can turns you speechless. Unspoken.
How weakness intimidates.
And how memories can be so cruel on you.
I feel numb. Untouchable not by my own will.
Head full of questions and heart afraid to find the answers
My life becomes unreal. Shadow becomes my believes.
I'm fading.
Unsenn.
Unwanted
Am I still alive?

Sri Lanka, 21st September 2002

Setiap orang hidup mempunyai arti kehidupan sendiri
Orang Korea dan Jepang berprinsip mereka hidup untuk bekerja
Membangun bangsa mereka semaksimal mungkin
Sebagian berprinsip sebaliknya. Bekerja untuk hidup.
Ada yang berkata, hidup adalah untuk memuja dan memuliakan Tuhan
Ada juga yang bilang, hidup adalah bersenang-senang.
Malah ada yang berkata, hidup adalah untuk cinta.
Mereka tidak dapat hidup tanpa adanya cinta.
Walaupun dia sendiri tidak tau apa artinya cinta
Tidak satupun yang bisa ku mengerti dari semua itu
Untukku, hidupku sepenuhnya adalah untuk kebahagiaan mereka
Kebahagiaan merekalah kebahagiaanku.
Hidupku milik mereka. Bukan milikku
Dan pada saat mereka tidak lagi menginginkanku dalam hidup mereka
Hidupku kemudian ..... mati.

Here i am, living in a life without a life
Making friends in un-reality, coz no one I can trust in reality, coz I dont belong
They say, dont hope too much in un-reality. but again.. what is real and what is not?
When u feel hurt inside you, is it not real?
And what is life without hope?
You just can't understand. Infact, you will never be able to understand,
Unless u;ve been there. before that, u'll just laugh and telling everybody how stupid and fool i have been.

here i am, living in a life with nobody around
the only friend i have is just my work. who stays with me from 8am to 9 pm
and if i;m lucky.. it stays with me until 2am in the field where I have to go for overtime
the only friend that can make me forget about time that just never end.
the best friend i can ever find... here.., i wish i can have more friend like that

One day I notice a conversation, a very short one..
He said "Do you miss me?"
She just smiled and then leave with a note saying
"When u start to dream, and turns out the dreams is not real, u'll hurt your self"
Can you imagine if Graham Bell didnt dream to make a conversation from distance?
This page u are now reading will not exist.
Can you imagine if they dont dream to fly? dream to have the brightness in the night?
Dream to go to the moon?

They asked me to leave my hopes, my un-reality friends, my dreams...
I have no life. I;m dead already.

Coz here I am, living in a life without a life

Lyric : In Your Heart

Download Mp3

I know it’s time, it’s time to get away
Make it over all the way
Stop the dream I have repay
And forever live in pain

I wonder where it goes, after sometime I let go
All the hopes I couldn’t told
Ain’t no silent turn to gold

You cut deep to my skin, even wound my heart but still
I see the beauty of the scar
Like a painting of the sky when the sun began to shine

I know your hurting me, is that the way you’re loving me?
Is that the way that I must feel?
I keep on asking

But I, I know now what you feel
I know that it’s not real
All this time, it’s just a scheme, just a fantasy

And I, I wish that I was wrong
I wish that you were here
Holding me when I’m in need
In your heart where I should be

I know you’re gone, you tried to get away
And I alone who have to pay
All the things you left behind
There’s no exit I can find

I start to heal the pain, and forever it remains
And I start to miss the pain
And I miss you

Sri Lanka, 21 July 2002

Apa sebenarnya yang aku rasakan? Aku kangen dia…..
Tapi aku telah bertemu dia, kenapa masih kangen? Mungkin, aku takut kehilangan dia..
Apakah dia milikku? Bukan! Dia bukan milikku….
Lalu, bagaimana aku bisa kehilangan sesuatu … yang tidak pernah aku miliki?? ……..

Sri Lanka 7th June 2002

Knowing the truth is always better than drawning in lies created by your self or someone else
But sometime, truth hurts so bad even makes you unable to accept reality
Makes you deny what you've been hearing, reading or even feeling.
If what you feel is not real, than what is reality?

If there shall be no answer of one question...let it unaswered.
Let it unrevealed and forever become a mistery of life...
instead of directing others to eternal agony.

Sri Lanka, 23rd June 2002

Lyric : Without You

Download Mp3

Why does it hurt so bad
everytime you say "dont look back"
Inside my mind i'm feeling the end is sad

Why can't you stop pretend
Coz it's not you who's on this stand
Silent you give
Confuses to understand

No I can't live without you
Illusion intimidates you
No I can't live without you
They broke the beauty of you

Waiting for all this time
I deny all emotion lies
Search for a piece of puzzle taken from me

Promise that has been broken
Contamination of hates awaken
Brain wash upon revolving the seeds of darkness

Sri Lanka 10th June 2002

i got this addiction sickness
addiction to something that is not allowed
they keep telling to stop the addiction, but i wont
because it feels so good when i have it,
but hurts like hell when i cant get it.
but it's ok. i'm ready too all this pain.
i know i'm sick, I know what I had is prohibited.
but no matter what, i just dont wanna let it go!
i can let it go.. but i wont!
i dont wanna cure my addiction... on her.

*for her.. who doesn't belong to me...*

Saat ini semua begitu indah
Dimana kau selalu berkata "Ya...aku ada disini."
Dan aku balas berkata "Terima kasih...."
Hari berikutnya kau juga masih berkata "Ya....aku akan tetap disini"
Dan sekali lagi aku berkata "Terima kasih...."
Tapi, suatu saat akan ada perpisahan...kau tak akan disini lagi.
Karena tempat kau memang bukan disini,... dan aku akan sendiri.....
Tapi aku akan tetap berkata "Terima kasih!"
Terima kasih telah membiarkan aku menjadi bagian kecil dalam hidupmu

Untuk kalian semua..... terima kasih.

a friend once got into my room and notice 2 different photos
and he asked "why is this one's facing your bed and another facing the other side?"
and simply i answered "ah.. just not enough room....."
and then again he asked "not enough room on your table... or in your heart?"

Have you ever notice a dancing pen?
How it starts to dance from one point to another
Creating lines that tells stories, songs or even..reveals the unspoken
But somehow.. a question starts to rings in our head...
Is that the dance that we wanted to see?
Is that the line that we wanted to shows?
Is that the story of what our hearts trying to say?
Or is that a scheme to manipulate others mind?
The dance of lies beneath truth

they say life is a test
we are suppose to meet problems and settle them, each one of 'em
every time we pass one, there's another harder one waiting for us
the more we got, the stronger we will be
but they forgot something..........
how about the pain?
what about the wound they made in our hearts for each cry we had?
is this what's it's all about?
a test until we start screaming the words "NO MORE"?
and when the time comes, is that the time to end life?
the main question will be.... how strong should we be?

Sri Lanka - 7th May 2002 / (HVC)

as if you got wings... but dont know how to fly
as if you got tears... but dont know how to cry
cos now you got unspoken words.. and you dont know how to reveal

Sri Lanka, 30th April 2002

Without Wings
by Vero

Kita tidak memiliki sayap malaikat...
Kita hanya manusia biasa...
Mungkin, kita bisa menolong orang lain...
Mungkin juga, kita bisa membahagiakan orang lain...
Itulah tugas kita...
Yang bersedia mengulurkan tangannya...
Dan bersedia menjadi...Malaikat Tanpa Sayap...


We ain’t angels
Just human
We act like an angel,
But forever without wings

Give hands and joys for other…. Just like an angel
Because… that’s what it’s all about
And forever we shall be….
Angels without Wings

By Vero

Lelaki tua itu tersenyum ke arahku
Wajahnya penuh kerut
Dengan rambut yang mulai memutih
Geraknya kian lamban
Menandakan...
Betapa lelah hari2nya
Hanya satu yang tak berubah...
Dekapannya...masih sehangat yang dulu...
"Ayah...Aku sayang padamu..."

THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH
by HVC

where is the best place on earth?
is it a fancy palace with everything you need?
is it a place that looks exactly the same as a paradise city?

for me... if there's a place filled with people who really wanted you to be there
just because of who you are..., not what you are...
then that is my best place on earth
and that place could be somebody else's heart,
instead of three dimensional definition of the word "place"

i hope i have that place..... somewhere....

Lewat kata
By Veronica_tsui

Jelang malam temaram..
Semakin larut semakin terhanyut..
Berbagi gelak tawa
Berbagi canda..
Walau hanya lewat kata..

Terima kasih untuk malam ini..
Kantuk menerpa namun terlewati..
Tidak terasa untuk memaksakan diri..
Karena yang ada hanyalah tawa..
Walau hanya lewat kata..

Kurasa, sudah cukup untuk malam ini..
Walau hanya lewat kata...

Imagine It - By HVC

i'm trapped in the darkness where there's no one around
neither my soul, or even drops of my tears
i tried to look up, there's only black sky above
i started to pray,.. but then i started to scream.

imagine anger,
imagine fear.......

can you imagine where there's no one there around you
when you need some one to hold you or just sharing your fear
can you imagine when there's a black hole inside you
how loneliness just get through and only sorrow you feel

imagine your fear...

Created by Vero
(you'll never know what a freind can do for you)

Ahhh...
Mengapa di malam yang semakin larut...
Kegilaan ini tak jua surut...
Membawa hati ini semakin terhanyut...
Membuat nadi berdenyut-denyut...

Terima kasih kawan...
Kau buat aku tertawa kembali...
Tiada hal yang paling bahagia...
....selain menikmati hari ini...

Esok...biarlah perlahan menjelang...
Mengikuti sang waktu...
Toh pagi tak pernah ingkar janji...
Untuk menyambut sang mentari...

"Friends are...puzzle pieces.
If one goes away, that special pieces can never be replaced..
And..the puzzle will never be whole again.
HOPE YOU ARE A PIECE I CAN KEEP FOREVER..
Take care..."

A Poetry from Ran

Aku tertawa lagi...inikah rasanya menjadi gila?
aku kemudian diam. Inikah rasanya kesepian?
aku kemudian tenggelam. Inikah rasanya sesak?
aku kemudian terjatuh. Inikah rasanya sakit?
Kemudian air mataku satu persatu bergulir, lalu
menghilang ditiup angin.
Apakah aku akan bahagia, apakah semestinya aku
gembira?
Semua penuh dengan kata tanya.
Lalu siapa yang bisa menjawabnya?
Kutanya hatiku, dia hanya diam terpaku.
Kutanya jiwaku, dia mati membisu.
Kutanya nuraniku, dia dingin membeku.
Kutanya akalku, dia bimbang menerawang.
Kutanya kenanganku,...dia tidak menjawab.
Dia hanya menangis tersedu sambil berkata, "Maafkan
aku atas sepenggal kenangan indah yang menyakitkan
hatimu..."


Ran - 23 maret 2002

KEMBALI- by HVC (1996)

tiada ku sangka
t'lah sekian lama kita bersama
menjalain rasa suka dan cinta
tanpa ada curiga

sekuntum bunga
begitu putih
seputih cinta kita
tak'kan ku lupa
janji kita, untuk s'lalu akan bersama

ku kan kembali
untuk mu oh kasih
ku kan kembali
untuk bersamamu

jangan pernah kau tinggalkan
semua ini
jangan pernah kau berhenti
menginginkan diriku
kar'na ku akan kembali untukmu

jalani kasih
dengan suci hati
kar'na kau tak sendiri

ku kan bernyanyi
untukmu kasih
jangan kau bersedih

waktu t'lah datang
menguji kita
akankah kita bertahan?
menempuh semua kesendirian
menggapai cinta yang nyata

Lyric by HVC
ALONE - 1998

sit alone here on my bed
wondering why i feel so sad
feel secured but yet I'm scared
tell me ... that you realy care

should i cry for what I am
am I the one that should be blamed
all my loves have flown away
burned away by mighty flame

when I feel unhappy, everybody's happy
when I feel so lonely, you dont even care
when I look into my shadow,
there's nothing but a sinner
but if I'm really just a burden ....
blow this light of mine

Lyric by HVC
created sometime around 1996

you and me,
we have something in common.
things that we've been dreaming of,
to be inlove with one another.

holding hands, and watch the sky by the ocean,
say no words and let our eyes,
tell the truth of how we feel.

see the thought that this could be the last time.
but, should we feel this way from the very first time?

*reff : i dont wanna say good bye to you.
even if you realy asked me to.
deep inside you know it can't be true.
i know you love me,
cos every nite girl i;ve been dreaming of you.

is this mistake or could this be the right thing?
must we be together once,
and leave this all behind us?

But if these all were meant to be,
why can;t we be together?

*2nd bridge : i cherish all the times we had together, and i dont wanna let them go.

let see the result of this.....